The answer to the harshness around you is joy.
There are two concepts connected with Binah, the understanding of the mind.
The first is "minah dinin misarin," judgments are "awakened" by it. The discernment of the critical mind is a strict judge, actively noting and condemning the negative around you. Or, in self reflection or the divine gaze, the bad traits in yourself.
The answer to this is the second concept in Binah, "em habaim semeicha." Allegorically known, as "the supernal mother," the concept of understanding lays the groundwork for your souls emotional construct, "the mother of its children." The adjective describes this mother as "joyous," as the flip side of the minds judgment and negativity, is its propensity to generate joy when contemplating on the positive.
This joy then fulfills the concept of "ein hagvuros nimtaken elah beshorshan," "the bitterness of strict judgment is only sweetened in its source." The joy you generate internally is the most direct opponent to your negative thoughts and feelings about yourself, about others, and in the divine assessment of your soul, joy lifts you above it.
Ohr ha'Torah Va'era
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